The new movie Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is scheduled for release this May. A news report offered today has stated that this new adventure of Indy will offer a gritty look at the actual world of archaeology, instead of the wild adventures of a looter and criminal so often seen in past epics.
Instead of fighting Nazis, Indy will spend a good portion of the movie working to accumulate sufficient grants for his field excavations.
The dig itself will be the climax of the movie, bringing Indy to a site on the border of Argentina and Brazil. When contacted for further comment, George Lucas had this to say:
We’re looking for realism here, so the ‘crystal skull’ is just a metaphor for information, anything more would be foolish. What you should really have in mind is ceramics. When people think of Indiana Jones we want them to think of pot sherds.
Following the roughly five minutes of the movie devoted to the dig will be an hour and a half long exploration of Indy’s laboratory analysis and publications. Assisting Indy in this work instead of some runaway Asian child will be a series of underpaid and often overworked graduate students, hoping to get their names down as coauthors.
Lucas continued saying:
We wanted to really capture what archaeology is like, so we are doing our best to keep the ratios of fieldwork to lab work accurate. Additionally, since looting, as seen in past movies, its an atrocious international crime, Indy will be carefully documenting all his finds and making sure that their final home properly respects their patrimony.
Harrison Ford offered the following statement on the new film:
I’m really too old to be doing another jumping, fighting, action movie, so this suits me just fine. In the end, real archaeology is so much more interesting anyway, and these people are the real heroes. At best people like Indian Jones would end up hosting a show on the discovery channel, at worst jail.
Clearly this movie will be a turning point in archaeology films, better than 10,000 BCE, the past Indiana Jones movies, or Tomb Rader.
Filed under: Archaeology | Tagged: April Fools, Indiana Jones
That post made the baby Jesus cry.
On the other hand, fuck Indiana Jones for warping my young mind enough to think that grad school might be fun.
Oh, and by the way, thanks for taking all the fun out of processed pork. Jerk.
[...] tie. The Greenbelt wins for a droll comment that appeals to our dry sense of humor: Recommended are a look at the new Indiana Jones movie (”Instead of fighting Nazis, Indy will spend a good portion of the movie working to [...]
Callicebus
How could you be so reactive to someone who doesn’t know the true name of iconic hero (even misquoting George Lucas on the same) and mistakes It is self for itself? It’s likely that the synopsis is wrong as well.